On the heels of The Haircut: Toddlers and Barbers don’t Mix, a post about something similar: nail clipping!
It turns out many babies and toddlers do not enjoy nail clipping either, and my wife and I have suspicions that it may be linked to the fear of the why are you removing part of me? kind of thoughts.
When Alex was a baby I was able to distract him by whistling, and in the end it was this distraction that I used to trim his nails. He still wasn’t happy about having them cut and I’m sure he wasn’t pleased with me doing it (i.e. not great for the relationship).
Lately, my wife has taken to explaining to him that the nails will grow back and how he needs to have them cut so he doesn’t scratch himself (rubbing eyes etc.) and they don’t break etc. Sometimes this wins him over.
But is this coercion or negotiation?
It depends on your approach. To avoid coercion or negotiation you explain it to him and need to let him say yes. Letting him say yes is the key; you aren’t telling him “we are going to cut your nails and this is why” its asking him “this is why we need to cut your nails, can we do it?”.
The former uses your power as a parent (bigger, authoritative) to tell him what is happening, the latter allows him to accept your proposal. If he says no, we have found that it is best to ask why (do the clippers scare you?) and then let it go. You now have a himt of something to work on for the next time you try to cut his nails.
