So I did it again today. I took action that involved my son without communicating with him first. In this case I should have seeked his permission before taking action. Luckily I didn’t get in trouble for it.
We have in our living room the ubiquitous Ikea table (see image) where we spend time during the day partaking in various activities like playing with play dough, assembling and dis-assembling toys and also coloring. We have washable crayons and so we just draw right on the table and chairs and wash it all off with warm water when we run out of space.
This morning I wanted to sit in one of the chairs. As the chair had been colored from top to bottom, I went for a cloth to wipe it clean while Alex was playing with some other toys in another part of the living room. I began wiping the chair down without asking him if it was okay to do so (it is his table of course!) and when he saw me he came running over (23 months old at this point). He said Papa! and to my relief proceeded to tell me who drew what on the chair and allowed me to clean it off. I was thankful that he wasn’t attached to whatever had been drawn on the table. Regardless what I had done was disrespectful to my son. They were his drawings on his table and chairs; imagine if he came over to my computer and deleted some blog posts?
I don’t find it easy sometimes and really have to be mindful as my reactive actions are clearly still in the “I’m the adult, you are the child, I am the boss” way of thinking… I need to keep in mind to ask permission (which I did to change his diaper this morning).
Permission parenting: get their permission before taking action with anything related to them! I’m certain that it will be vital to building a relationship of trust and mutual respect.
