So for almost two years now we’ve used breast feeding to help get our little guy to sleep. Some recent reading, including the Aware Baby, has taught us that our little guy may be using the nightly feedings for not only comfort to get to sleep but also to help repress pent up emotions from the day and his past.
After a little mom/dad discussion this afternoon while Alex was with his grandparents, we thought that it may be a good idea to stop this from happening. There’s a lot more to it then what I am writing here and I will get to it once I write more about the Aware Baby. Anyways, when we got back home Alex was playing with his grandparents. After some time together they had to head home and said their goodbyes. Alex shut the door but it turns out he wasn’t sure that they were leaving. We could still hear them in the hallway so we let him out to run and see them, but he got there just as the elevator door was closing.
He lost it.
It was late, and he spent a good 10-15 minutes crying at our front door. We had closed the door so as not to bother the neighbors and I locked it as he knows how to open it. This made me a bad person and he got even more upset.
I think both my wife and I were happy that he was letting this out instead of just getting angry. Granted, he was tired and probably a little cranky too, but after bringing him to the bedroom – and him telling me to leave – he cried a little more and then there was nothing but silence. I thought my wife had given in and started to feed him but when she came out she told me he simply fell asleep!
He hasn’t done that in maybe 6 or 7 months, and it was a great relief. On one hand, she didn’t have to deny him milk to go to sleep, we did say no to milk for dealing with the issue with his grandparents leaving but that is something we have been weaning for a while now. As I type this the door across the hall is open and he is fast asleep.
We’ll see how this is in the morning. Hopefully this is how we have read it would be: a release of emotion and a satisfying sleep with less tossing and turning then what we used to have.
Update: So its been about a week now and we’re still working this out. We haven’t been able to get him to bed without feeding since what I related above, but my wife is weaning him off of milk during those episodes where he wakes up at night. Instead of feeding him back to sleep, she gives him a bit of milk and then tells him that he has had milk, time to go to sleep. He complains a little (cries, rolls over etc) and then falls asleep. Slowly but surely we are getting there.
