The Haircut: Toddlers and Barbers don’t Mix

(Don’t miss the update at the end of this article)

Our son has had two haircuts. The first time he was about a year old and sadly the experience didn’t go well. He had already been to the barbers – conveniently located right next door – with me as I had my hair cut and so it wasn’t his first time in the shop. But he cried. Hard.

Happily the second time down went much better. My wife went with him this time and I was quite surprised to learn that he let them use not only the clippers but also the hair dryer. My wife had done some work on the latter, getting him used to it here at home while she dried her hair; on occasions he even goes and grabs it from the cupboard to play with.

So now that his hair has sprouted some more it is about time for his third haircut. He’s now a month short of two years, and can string together sentences/ideas mixing sign language with Spanish and the very odd drop of English. Several mornings this past month have seen us downstairs for breakfast at the bakery, stalking the very popular street cleaner when it passes by and asking him if he would like a hair cut. Sometimes over breakfast he says yes but once we’re done it is a solid No!

Today we had a good talk with him about why. He was quick to sign that the clippers (hand over head with vrrrrrm sound) scared him. And then he motioned scissors over his head and made a schip schip sound indicating that also scared him.

It is interesting that this scares him now but didn’t the last time. Maybe it won’t be an issue once the cut starts, but why is this so scary?

Put ourselves in their shoes

Imagine for a minute you are a little 2 year old boy or girl and some stranger comes along and starts removing parts of your body with a strange noisy machine and a pair of scissors, and all the while your Mom and or Dad are looking on, maybe even trying to get you to stop crying. This scenario is one that I have seen unfold in the barber shop, and also one that my wife and I have had at home when cutting Alex’s finger and toenails (albeit minus the stranger).

From their perspective you are removing something that is theirs; I’ve even heard this argument to explain why they don’t like to get their diapers changed. Something like: I’ve made an effort to make that pee and poo and you want to take it away? NO!

Seen from their shoes, having a stranger use a machine on their head – sometimes in places where they cannot see it (think back of the head) – and having this person remove their hair (hey, it’s mine!) all the while people look on and even try to distract them from the horror can be too much.

We’re taking him down today to watch them use the clippers on someone else’s head, and explaining how he’ll be able to make a spikey hairstyle like his father once his hair is short enough. Once we can associate the joy of playing with/styling his hair with haircuts and get him comfortable with scissors and clippers, we hope he’ll enjoy getting his hair cut.

Update: So here at the end of the month, more then two weeks later and we still haven’t had the third haircut. Alex seems to be going thru a scared phase lately (he’s just turned 23 months). Things that did not scare him before, such as the juicer and the laundry machine, do now. Needless to say this carries over to the barber shop.

Update II: Well, it finally happened. The other day I had to go and get my haircut so I asked Alex if he wanted to join me and come down and watch as I had my haircut. He said yes.

So we all went in, and I sat down in the barber’s chair and Alex and my wife sat in another chair to watch me as I start getting my haircut. At this point, the two hairdressers started suggesting that Alex get his haircut and talking to him trying to convince him to cut his hair. We had to stop them and explain to them, what we’re trying to do. That is, letting him watch me get my haircut and then decide on his own if he was ready to get his haircut. This was a bit new to them.

Eventually my wife got up with Alex, and they walked over to the open barber chair. He wasn’t very interested in sitting in the chair on his own, but he was okay with sitting in my wife’s lap and getting his haircut… and thus it began. He let them use the Clippers and the scissors on his hair and he did not cry a drop.

Once it was finished I was happy with his new hairstyle and hairdressers were surprised with how smooth it went. Now, what we are doing to ensure that his next haircut happens a little sooner and just as smooth as this last time is reminding him every day about his haircut, how well it went and how cool his new hairstyle is.